Looking Back At 2012

I was never a fan of all the hype on New Year's Eve, however, I do like looking back after the past year and remembering all the things good and bad that can happen in 365 days. All in all I think 2012 was a very good year for me. So much as happened its hard to believe it has only be just one year ago since we we're all sitting here writing our little reflections on 2011.

2012 started with all my friends traveling to Europe for months so I was left to navigate Manhattan alone. It was a great time to try new restaurants and make some new friends as well. Summer came and went in the flash of an eye and it was already back to school in the fall. It was great to have everyone back in the city ready to have fun. This past semester has been great. This past year I really discovered who I am as a person

Here are some of the highs and maybe lows of 2012:

• February Fashion Week events such as Lunch with Alexandre Birman and attending the Moncler Grenoble Show
• Managing to eat at almost every restaurant in Meatpacking 
• Visiting LA in March
• Getting my first pair of Louboutins....now thats exciting
• Moving into my very own apartment! Perhaps the most exciting thing of 2012
• Of course new friends were made, but some old friends were also lost
• The start and unfortunately end of a relationship
• Going out on break in style at Beaumarchais

I hope your 2012 was filled with as many memorable moments as mine. Looking ahead, 2013 has the potential to be even more exciting. I see Barcelona in my near future for one thing. I do, however, want to vow to take things a bit more slowly in 2013 and not rush so much. 

Happy New Year!

Whatever You Do

Whatever you do in life, 

do it with passion

do it with energy

do it with love

do it without regrets

and live colorfully 

We Perceive the World Through Filters

I was sitting at the pool yesterday with the current book I'm reading: one of those not-well known murder mysteries that someone published because it was a goal in their life probably....you know which ones i'm talking about.

In this little book, however, I came across a few lines that I went back and read for a second time. They were the following:

"Always, the eye sees more than the mind can comprehend, and we go through life self-blinded to much that lies before us. We want a simple world, but we live in a magnificently complex one, and rather than open ourselves to it, we perceive the world through filters that make it less daunting. Complexity implies meaning. We are afraid of meaning."

I started thinking about what this said, and realized that it his very true- in my life anyway. I know I am very guilty of having these "filters." In fact, I probably have a very large number of then. I simplify my life based on what I feel safe with. I tend to pick the expected because the unexpected is that-I do not know what to expect from it so I feel nervous, uneasy.

I also make my world less daunting by making up excuses for many things....sometimes that seems to make things better and less complex. This means usually placing the blame for certain things on myself. "oh the reason they no longer talk to me is probably because they're just too busy, have other things to do....no way its their fault."

I must have missed the memo on this one, but not responding must be the new "it" thing to do. That text message sent 13 days ago...still waiting for a reponse. But dont worry about getting back to me, I wasnt expecting it *sarcasm*

I feel that we tend to pick and choose things that we know will produce good things (or so we think) because we are afraid of other things that we do not feel comfortable with. 

It might be an #EPP (Every Person Problem)

The other week Little Miss Cant Be Wrong from "How I Met your Father" did a post which she called An #EGP. I read the post when she wrote it, and read it again last night. I feel like this is not just an every girl problem, but an every person problem (#EPP).

The following image is the basis:

via

I cannot stop re-reading this. It is so true as I look back on the past 4-6 months, especially. Im sure we all have, or perhaps, had people in our lives that complicated it, hurt you, took advantage of you, ect. We didnt realize it at the time, however. It was only after the fact did we realize what exactly was happening.  Then the feelings of "i wish i never met you" begin to arise. 

Perhaps, wishing you never met one is a bit radical. Maybe wishing you never got as close as you did with one may be the actual problem. Going out of your way, sharing your life because you felt a sense of trust with this person. And then suddenly you are, in a sense, cut out of their life. Confusing, right? It's things like this that cause one to not be able to sleep and wake up at 5am every morning for no reason.

Looking back on certain situations, I am filled with regret for my lack of insight and thinking ahead, among other things. As LMCB stated, can someone cut things like Facebook out of my life?!? haha. It seems to add (negatively) to certain things. 

LMCB I hope you will agree that this may be an #EPP! :)

via

On a side note, I am thinking about only doing my Monday and Wednesday posts, and possibly Fridays during the summer. Would this greatly upset anyone?! haha. Of course I will be tweeting all summer long.

Seeking Permanence

Permanent: continuing or enduring without fundamental or marked change : stable


I have realized that one of the hardest things (for me at least) to accept about life is the fact that permanence is essentially non-existent. While one may think he has permanence in his life, I can almost guarantee it is only a temporary thing and will change in the feature- usually when one least wants it to.


Without fundamental or marked change- what if the change is not marked? I believe those are the most difficult to deal with. Those long, slow, drawn out events that one or many do not want to admit are                     happening. 


The lack of permanence is life keep's one on his toes, however. Life may be a little more dull if everything was constant and not subject to change, but I find the things that are most highly subject to change are the things that one would not want to change- location, friends, jobs for example. Through various experiences, I am discovering that some control can be given over this. Namely, choose friends carefully, and make important decisions with caution. 


So seek to create a sense of permanence with the things that ground you in life. In the back of your head always be aware that these things or those moments you enjoy most may not always be, but do not worry about that until the time when they are gone arrive. 


Remember: The moments you love and enjoy will be the moments you miss the most...this is difficult aspect of permanence.




P.S. summer blogging may slow down a bit, so dont forget to follow me on Twitter :)

It's Like a Bad Breakup

As I sit here and write this, my room is a complete and utter mess. Approximately 5 bombs have gone off in it. I am waiting for my mother to arrive, but shes of course stuck in enormous amounts of traffic.

Dear New York,

We first got serious about 9 months ago. Things started off pretty well, but then got a little rough- I considered breaking up with you about 3 months into our relationship, but we worked things out, luckily. I have gotten to know you very well, and know that we are the perfect match. Although you are quite lovely, you can be a total bitch sometimes- it gets to be a little too much to handle at times.

You have taught me a lot about myself and who I am and what I want...all things one would want in a relationship, correct? I've especially enjoyed our time together over the past 4 months....no words can really describe them. Looking back, I cannot believe 9 months has flashed before our eyes. I can vividly remember when we met, that hot, humid, August afternoon. I was exhausted.

New York, you have been about 90% real and 10% fictitious. This good bye is more like a "see you later" and we will get through it just fine, I hope. Did you plan this dreary, gray weather for my departure? The mood seems quite fitting.

Yours truly

Oscar Wilde Knows Best

It's time for a mini rant....

If there is anything I dislike (actually I dislike quite a lot of things) it is non-response from someone or being obviously ignored. When this is a good "friend" it makes it that much worse because we begin thinking are we actually friends or aren't we?


From past experiences, I noticed that when this behavior becomes noticeable its a foreshadowing of whats to come- a slow separation and drifting apart. Obviously this is something that can be semi difficult to come to terms with, especially when you aren't the one initiating this ignorance.

It's even easier to catch someone doing this because of Twitter, Facebook ect. Im a pretty smart person, so one's stupidity slyness is easily caught. This issue characterizes people of today, namely they are too afraid to say anything in person. If you want to drift apart- just tell me. I will initially, most likely, be offended but I'd rather you just tell me than kill a friendship with painful, slow, death.

I turn to one of my favorite authors, Oscar Wilde. His novels have amazing messages, and even more inspiring quotes


He writes, "Some cause happiness wherever they go; other whenever they go" - perhaps this is true...we may be better off without someone, but facing that fact often proves to be very difficult.


and the best thing that Wilde ever wrote, in my opinion:

 "There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about"

I try to keep that in mind whenever you hear things about yourself you would rather not know was being said- at least im giving them something to talk about right??

A Tribute to You, Mom

Mother's Day is sunday- seems like its extra early this year? Anyhow, i'd like to pay an early thank you to my mom. Many of you may think this post will be completely cliche, but im not really concerned with that.

Mom,

You are an incredible person. I feel as though i have too much to say, and im going to forget to  say the most important things- please forgive me :)

You have been an incredible source of not only inspiration, but also support through out my life.  Starting at a very young age, you taught me the very immense value of education and the results that hard work provide.  Because of you, I had the motivation to excel in school, and I did. I was never the kid in high school to go to very, very, stupid parties on the weekend. Instead, i kept high grades and spent time with you  guys on the weekends.  Looking back at the day of graduation, i could feel how proud you were of me as  I was sitting on the stage and giving my commencement speech-  30 years after you had given yours  for the same high school.

I am so thankful that you have taught me the value of hard work. I got a job as soon as I  was old enough, and although you may foot my bills (thanks! :) ) I know the value of everything I have.  The  long hours you put in make the lifestyle  I have possible, again thank you. I feel like you understand some many things that other people, like fathers, cannot understand.  Thus, i guess you could classify me as  a "mommas boy" growing up? I always turned to you for answers if I was looking for something, or wanting something. You worst things I could hear coming out of your mouth was " you'll have to check with your father." Thank you for all the support during the many rough times of growing up  and going to a school where   I was considered "the stuck of person" Clearly, you and everyone that matters to us knows that is far from true- you have taught me to be generous and supportive of others.

Whenever I need to complain about something, talk about people, ect. you are always ready to listen and get in on the  gossip :). The text messages you send me such as :

"good luck on your test. Take your time and dont panic. Give the bitch what she wants" 

are completely amusing. Yes, that professor was quite a bitch wasnt she??

As I sit here and write this little memo, I know that you support every decision I make, namely coming to school here in New York. While it may seem like im never going to come, dont worry- ill see you in 11 days. :)

All with love,

Your son.

Wordless Wednesday: Mixed Feelings

Sorry for a lack of post yesterday. I had a midterm (number 2 in the same class to be exact) even though its the end of the semester in like 3 weeks (cannot believe/dont want to think about it).

Today's wordless wednesday: Mixed Feelings....thats how i feel right now. So many deadlines, expectations, confusion with people, people's opinions of me, leaving new york, ect.